The parent\u2019s strongest wish is to be good at it. Sometimes, they mistake being the best parent for having the best child. When they evaluate their children, they confuse the evaluation with that of their parenting. As if the child would be the extent of their actions and nothing else. Children aren\u2019t parent\u2019s continuity, nor their way to do it well this time. Children should not be the way parents accomplish themselves and their lost dreams. They are individuals that have their own personalities, wishes, and lives. A good parent is a parent that is there for his child, no matter what that child becomes. Hoping that they\u2019ll never be wrong and our children would be nothing less than perfect is the road to perdition. You\u2019ll never be a perfect parent, and your child will never be perfect. And this is the start line for the most common mistakes parents make, having their children\u2019s best interest at heart. Mistaking the minimizing of feelings for encouragement It\u2019s hard to see a child being scared, or sad. Parents feel the urge to make those feelings go away from their children, knowing they\u2019d be better without. The most common way to address them is by telling them \u201cdon\u2019t be so sad about it, it\u2019s not a big deal.\u201d The intention might be to make them see that the subject causing them those reactions isn\u2019t worthy of their pain. But what parents fail to see is that being sad or scared is what reality means to their child. It is the way they feel it. And children can\u2019t make the difference between the reality of their feelings and the objective reality seen by the parent. Children perceive reality as an extension of themselves. They don\u2019t perceive themselves as a distinct individual, they aren\u2019t self-conscious. When the reality is minimized so are the children\u2019s feelings. What they understand is that their feelings aren\u2019t a big deal. They are told that the way they understand the subject is wrong. But for them, that means they are wrong. We make this \u201cmistake\u201d even when we are adults. When we are told that what we feel is wrong, it feels like we are being considered wrong. What to do instead? Admit those feelings. Don\u2019t be smarter than they are. Let them feel sad and scared. This way you help them become aware of what they are. Children are what they feel. \u201cDon\u2019t be\u201d is the negation of what they are. So, first confirm them who they are and tell them that whatever they are it\u2019s alright: \u201cyou are scared, or sad. It\u2019s alright to be so.\u201d Then, help them find a way to overcome those feelings on their own, by asking them what would make them feel better. They will know what they need to get better, without feeling they are wrong on top of feeling sad or scared. Not letting them fail This is one of the things that build character. Children need to know that it is alright to fail. When parents always let children win every game they play, and when they protect them from an argument with another child by saving them and giving them the feeling they were right, or not letting them make mistakes and always be there two steps ahead warning them from probable obstacles, those are all shields that parents steal from their children. Failing is the only way that children learn to build shields to protect them from a life that will never be kind to them. They won\u2019t always win. And when they don\u2019t consider failure an option, they will become either tyrants that always get their way, or people scared to try anything on the fear they won\u2019t make it. Let them fail and be there for them when they do. \u201cYou failed and it\u2019s alright. We all do. You\u2019ll learn and get better at it.\u201d Don\u2019t mock them, don\u2019t be harsh, don\u2019t tell them what they should\u2019ve done. Ask them what they need to try again, and give it to them. Don\u2019t give advice just because you think they need it. Ask them if they do. Overindulging by thinking you give them everything they need What children don\u2019t know is that they need boundaries. They need discipline. They need to give in order to get something. When they don\u2019t have those things, they lose interest in pretty much everything. They have it all too easy, their strength isn\u2019t put to the test. This is how they start searching for tasks that do so. They behave badly and even become violent. Not just violence generates violence. Overindulgence does too. Male rules and help your child follow them. Let them have what they want in exchange for something. They can play video games after they read five pages of a book. They can go out after they cleaned their room. They can have a bike if they take the garbage for a week. It doesn\u2019t have to be hard work, but they need to work to get what they want. This is the only way they won\u2019t by-pass social rules and even the law when they become adults. Make room for negotiation, but don\u2019t let them manipulate you. You are their parent, and you need to remain that. And parenting means authority. Until the authority is internalized and your child becomes his own authority, you need to play that role for him. Searching for perfection instead of adjusting expectations The truth is that no child is perfect and no parent is either. As long as we are humans, we are blessed with being imperfect. With being wrong. When it comes to humans, only the way we look at each other can make us perfect. Help your child set goals for themselves. Don\u2019t set them yourself. Those are your goals, not your theirs. Instead, help them fight battles they can truly win. Fighting for realistic goals that are adjusted to their abilities and working to improve those abilities - this is what perfection means. Untouchable goals can wreak havoc their spirit. And when they can\u2019t win, go back to no. 2 and help them see failure as a step ahead. Help them see what they\u2019ve accomplished with this apparently unsuccessful try. It\u2019s called experience. Conclusions? Teach your children to be the imperfect human beings they already are. Don\u2019t adjust them to match your ideal figure of a son\/daughter, don\u2019t make them feel guilty, don\u2019t let them believe there is a better version of themselves. There isn\u2019t. At the end of the road, there is just an unhappy adult expecting them to become something they are not. Do you want to be a good parent? Make sure you are fighting for your own dreams and wishes and then you\u2019ll be able to help your child fight for theirs. Take care of yourself, and he\u2019ll do the same. Dream and he\u2019ll dream too. Go easy on you when you make a mistake, and he\u2019ll do the same for himself.\u00a0 You\u2019ll both eventually fail. And it\u2019s alright. Just make sure you are there for each other. That\u2019s the only thing you shouldn\u2019t fail at.